Thursday, 13 November 2008

Monologue :

My ear condition is clearing up.

Seriously but its a bit odd that after months i have no itchiness at all.

Heal yourself by posting about it online.Perhaps its some weird catalyst for something.

I dont do 8 o clock starts.Whats the point ? WHO wants that in their life ? Not if i dont have a reason to be there at that time.I dont take breaks at work apart from the odd five minutes and i work right through.I dont like breaks when i am busy and i dont like early mornings so this way i have my cake and eat it.I start at 10 and i work faster and get a lot more done during working time and i dont like or create or encourage unhappy uptight working enviroments.Everything has to flow and it flows much better if everyone is happy and relaxed and i dont like all that I am the boss attitude from myself or anyone else.Everyone knows it anyway and it doesnt need to be constantly reinforced at least it doesnt with professionals anyway.Its just being one of the team with different responsibilities.No need to make a song and dance of it.

Small coincidence:I am listening to a lot of Burial right now and one track was a Burial remix of a song by Jamie Woon /Wayfaring stranger.Never heard of him before but i though he sounds interesting and quite good so i flicked onto the video of the original track and the video is partly set in Brighton.He is pretty good if i may say so but i cant stop listening to Burial.Very very good.I love the sound of the ticking longcase clock.Its a beautiful sound .We have one in the family and i love the sound of it at night.

I have deliberately cut myself off from people or kept it to a minimum in the last year to get some solitiude and to get things done and its amazing what you can get done but i find to get anything done and teach yourself something or whatever apart from going to work etc there has to be an inner drive that drives you to keep going and persevere because if you cant handle the learning curve and the frustrations of it then you dont deserve it anyway but it helps if you know your abilities or how badly you want .I am a hopelessly bad guitarist with accoustic guitars so i dont bother with them and no amount of tuition will ever change that because my heart isnt in it and if your hearts not in then forget it and stop wasting your own time.

But if you are good at doing something then keep doing it and dont waste it but if you want to be the best then dedication is what you need .I want to be the best but i am anti - competitive.I cant be bothered really with competitions or rather the winning bit and thats why i cant stand sport.I dont really give a toss and i dont have an inner need to prove anything really.Not interested.I just do what i do and if its good enough then fine .As long as its the best i can do then thats fine too.Different ways of looking at it really.You are as good as you want to be.Its difficult to pin this down really.I cant stand awards ceremonies and that sort of thing .Recognition is good but i cant stand all that best this best that as its all subjective.I say i love something and its a work of genius and others will hate it.Music awards are the worst for this but those are just music industry back slapping Wank Fests.Its like Cronieism.Q awards.Like kids getting rewards for being good.I wouldnt show up at them myself.Turn them down.I used to walk the school cross country deliberately and get to the end 7th to last or whatever and i was hated for it by the school house and the rest of the school because it was highly competitive with a very clear pecking order and i was expected to swear allegience to the school house and get behind them and compete .Like a regime.Same in american schools.Exactly the same mentality.all the kids who were competitive and good at sport were complete tossers with an attitude problem by coincidence.I think they were called glory hunters or something like that.Rolling around on the floor as if they are in complete agony after being fouled.Bullshit.Get up of the floor and take the pain .I got hit in the face with footballs twice and never did that and games teachers clearly getting off on their little bit of power.

People who cant handle power of any kind and abuse it are weak in character and this is always apparent most of the time with most people.

Power corrupts but it doesnt if you are incorruptable or the right kind of character .The majority of people are unfit for positions of power and to rule.Individuals should be thoroughly screened and psychologically profiled first and i advocate this for all politicians.The right stuff if you like like being officer material even if your not an officer like natural leadership qualities.

Stupid.A bunch of idiots running around a football/rugby pitch.

SO what ?

Its like the general consensus on Coldplay is that they are one of the best bands around but i think they are Trash. [referring to Q awards etc].

So What ?

I feel this is going to be a late one tonight as i feel inspired and awake and energetic in a sitting down kind of way.Not in the least bit tired.Probably the full moon.Its a problem sometimes being naturally nocturnal.Its very hard to switch off and go to bed but mind you its only 11 and i find it impoosible to go to sleep before 2am .I prefer 5 - 6 pm.I dont know about any other creative types but i do my best work at night oor in the early hours.There isnt any noise and somehow that side of things just flow a lot more clearly and easily.I dont like daytime much as theres too much activity and noise and i hate rush hours mornings and evenings the most .THE worst time of the day and i find theres a lot of bad vibes around then especially evenings and i pick up on it as i am very sensitive to atmospheres or feelings in the air around or inside houses or bad vibes.Sometimes i walk past someone in the street and get bad feelings off them or a sense that i dont like the look of them.I tune into peoples vibes or energies.There are certain parts of town that i dont like because of the bad energies or vibes that are around.Its like having an extra sense that is similar to a taste or smell but obviously not the same.I kind of look at the work i do to crumbling derelict buildings as a sort of healing and cleansing process because they are sick buildings in a sense and i am a bit of a perfectionist and i have love for my work which rubs off on the building .Theres someone i know called Richard Darlow [Website:The creative universe] who is a researcher/historian .His field is alternative history and new takes on existing orthodox history and earth energies / dowsing.He has the map of all the Ley lines in this area .I hadnt seen the map in any detail.I gave out a list of places in Brighton where i "Knew" where the ley lines were and in every instance i was correct.I dont go for New age gobbledegook but Ley lines are backed by scientific theory/fact so there.Dont scoff at what you dont understand if you were about to .He has an interesting theory about Troy amongst other things but if you see his website you will see he doesnt have much theory or clue about Art as the art on the website is appalling and i may have to correct this as it badly lets down the content of the website and *destroys* its credibility in my opinion.It needs some pencil line illustration or ink of the King etc.Its like you have to do everything yourself.His historical theories are groundbreaking to say the least.I collect interesting people and for some reason i always seem to be lucky enough to meet them or perhaps you attract what you give out .I definately believe in that.Once you get connected to the flow of the universe then you attract what you need and its like swimming with the tide rather than against it and having a positive outlook.Its my housemates hippie music night again.Some people should be banned from singing and playing ANYTHING.I wish whoever it is would stop that moronic out of time rhythm and they are lucky i am tolerant.Nature killers:Just along the road is a little Sq with 2 very small trees planted in it within borders.The only trees in the area.Imagine my dismay when i noticed one of them has been cut down.Problem some Fucked Up little waste of space POS Trash snapped it in 2.Shame but if i ever see anyone doing that i may not very happy about it and likewise if i ever see someone kicking Pigeons out of the way again.That guy was lucky i didnt kick his feet from under him and get him on the floor after what he said to me when i protested about his behaviour.Theres definately a line that should not be crossed and that was way out of line as far as i am concerned but what was worse was seeing a council truck drive through a load of Pigeons that were eating on the seafront.The truck drove at them at speed and squashed half a dozen of them and then drove off at speed .I dont even want to think about it .GGrrrr.......Cruelty of any kind just gets my back up .

Anyway onto more pleasant subject matter than that i am neither back nor not back having left if you know what i mean [peterwolf on martydom etc...] but really its just the odd isolated post from now on as if you or anyone else thinks that there will be a return to how things were before then just forget about it and i prefer to be elusive from now .A complete opposite to what was before if you like .No hard feelings towards anyone but thats how it is from now on.I wouldnt mind a music forum buy dont know of one and i guess most of them are full of kids into todays music.Pointless.I lasted about 5 minutes on the modern antiquarian forum .Rubbish like so many other things.Its like being surrounded by mediocrity.Its amazing how much hair i drop .Head hair i mean and there is a picture up of it all.

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