Wednesday, 12 November 2008

Diebold/ES&S :

Voting irregularities:

"This Presidency was NOT bought to you by Diebold!"

"Diebold : For those times when an election campaign only gets you so far !"

"Diebold : Sit back and enjoy the show. "

"Diebold : Taking the choice out of elections since 2000 "

"Diebold : Its the software that counts NOT voters!"

"DieBold : Election win ? NO problem !!"

"Diebold : Its WHO counts that counts !"

"Diebold : Trust Democracy - Trust Diebold "

"Diebold : WE count the recount ! "

"Diebold : Second place is for losers !"

"Diebold : Corporatising Democracy "

"Diebold : 21st century Democratic solutions "

"Diebold : Whats inside is what counts "

"Diebold : Change you can believe in ? Not this time - Not anytime "

"Diebold : For when democracy isnt the solution "

"Diebold : Why leave it to chance ? "

"Diebold : Dont lose your vote.Let Diebold lose it for you "

"Diebold : You can trust Diebold "

It transpires that there have been massive election result irregularities involving Diebold voting machines which has led to the massive landslide victory for the Democrats.

The problem that has been uncovered concerns Diebolds software inside the voting machines that caused the problem.To be more precise it was the programming of the software or defective chips that have been traced back to China.

The software was meant to discount Obama votes or transfer that vote over to the republicans resulting in a clear majority of voters voting Republican.

This DIDNT happen.

Shares in Diebold have crashed in value steadily since NOV 5th resulting in a massive lack of confidence in the way that Diebold have handled this election and a firm "No comment" from the CEO of Diebold.

At a later press conference a spokesman from Diebold issued a statement on behalf of Diebold apologising for this catastrophic failure on their part to store,count,and oversee the democratic process.No word yet about compensation but Diebold believe in full transparency and have passed the buck over to the Chinese manufacturers of the faulty Diebold software .

Diebold have reason to believe that this unfortunate turn of events is the result of a Chinese socialist/Communist plot to destabilise the US with the election of Obama on Nov 4th.

The US government in co operation with Diebold has now declared a full state of martial law that will remain in place indefinately until the matter has been fully investigated by Diebold.Diebold will then and only then conduct a full recount of votes or alternativly another election this time with replacement software that will be fully inspected by Diebold for faults and defects before voting recommences.

Lets hope Democracy prevails.

It is clear from this situation that Diebold are incompetent and are unable to have the Republicans confidence in processing votes and vote counts in any future election.

The Republicans lose the election because of faulty software !

Disclaimer : Despite being untouchable due to my universal catch all disclaimer this is a satirical article and the content of this article is in no way reflective of the opinions of or affiliated to Diebold in any way whatsoever.Diebold is a registered trademark of Diebold Inc.The use of the name Diebold has been appropriated under the terms of fair use and the terms of use concerning fair use will be upheld and respected by Diebold if they know whats good for them and i am not getting paid anything for this despite the fact i have provided them with 15 corporate advertising soundbites/slogans .


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