Hardon collider :

Prof.Brian Cox one of the research scientists behind the Hardon collider hailed the experiment as a success and said "Once the particles started accelerating and started to collide and reach critical mass i started to get a little excited .At the moment that the big bang had been successfully recreated i had a strange feeling that was not unlike feeling a large prick".

It has taken over 8,000 physicists from over 85 different countries and a budget of about 5 billion euros to design and erect the Hardon collider.

"We are ecstatic !!"

"We are all very excited and have enjoyed the first day of the experiment very much but its tiring but very rewarding and we have had no problem with 24 hour days and hopefully we can keep it up for as long as the Hardon Accelerator is running."

"We have been building up to this moment for a while but the experiment and end result was a lot quicker than expected and we have had our hands full ever since keeping up with it !!"

Their reactions were positive and they reacted vigorously to the experiment.

Others who got a too carried away or were uncertain how to react to the effects of the experiment were told to "get a grip " on the situation and were warned not to overreact

Scientists that were directly next to the epicentre commented that "It was painful but worth it and reported that "the experiment has resulted in a new sense of intimacy felt by all scientists involved.The effects were immediate and satisfying".

However the project is not without its critics and has been met with a flaccid reception by some:

"Its just one giant scientific Wank Fest for all of those involved "

"Its a sore point !" said another who declined to add any further detail or comment .


" I didnt notice any effect and it was a disappointment".

I just hope that the scientists involved had an ample supply of tissue paper or kitchen towel [lasts longer and doesnt disintegrate] or else there will be a lot of mopping up to do.

Others feel that this experiment is a huge step forward from Wilhem Reichs Orgone Accumulator.





The Catholic Church is reported to be furious about this experiment.