Monday, 31 March 2008

Hello ? Hello ? Is anyone there ? Hello ?

"Damn there is something wrong with this telephone !! Better get it checked out.Man that was an important call as well."

"You are holding the receiver the wrong way round.You are talking into the bit that you listen to.Turn it round the other way ".

"How do you mean turn it round ? Which way do you mean ? "

"look its the end that has the cable coming out of it ! Turn it round so the bit that you talk into is that you are listening to !"

"Okay okay i was just doing what my press officer told me to do.He said look busy and important as if i am brokering a nucleur non proliferation treaty with North Korea or Pakistan or one of the axis of evil nation states by telephone".

"Well hey lets look at it from another perspective.If the next president who will have his finger on the button doesnt know how to talk into a telephone correctly does not exactly inspire confidence does it ?.So lets run through this again and get it right this time.I hope you were paying attention".

[telephone rings]

"Okay here goes : Hello ? hello ?....."


"Oh yeah... Hello ? "

"Hello : We are conducting a poll from a cross section of US [p]residents

about the direction that this country is going in and its future as a world superpower.Would you like to take part in this survey ? It will take approx 5 minutes and each question can be answered by choosing one out of the three answers given".


"First Question: In your opinion do you feel that its inevitable that this country is on an irreversible slide towards totalitarianism helped by a dull apathetic population and a pseudo -christian pathalogical lying cabal of corrupt zealots hell bent on destroying this countries constitution and creating or indeed contriving to create by false pretences a climate of fear among the general populace in order to follow a hidden agenda that is indeed at odds with the perception that the United States is the land of the free ?"

Is this scenario

A: Very likely ?

B:Extremely likely ?

Or C : Its already happened ?

"I will..go ....for .... Damn tough question ... I go for answer C "

"Second question : Do you feel that the US Economy is in the state its in because it has been deliberatly and willfully mismanaged by an elite who when the crash comes ,since they own the federal reserve anyway and are not short of a buck will in fact seize assets privatly held on a massive scale.This will involve buying up or seizing real estate at knockdown prices from those who have fallen prey to immoral banking practices and an ill advised policy of lending that enabled those who didnt know any better to walk into a financial trap ? not to mention the fact that the Federal Reserve is not a bank but an illegal private enterprise that does not have the assets to honour that notes value in say gold for instance and that indeed the paper currency is worth nothing ?Do you feel that this situation has been contrived by Bankers so that when the crash comes they will expand their ownership of assets on a massive scale ? This has already started with JP Morgan buying up the bankrupt Bear Sterns and since the bankers already own the currency then if you think about it they are paying nothing for it or at least a fraction of its value which means they are buying assets at the fraction of their commercial value but taking on their debts which doesnt matter since the federal reserve have a license to print money anyway and the only real cost to them is the costs of printing paper money.This scenario further centralises the central bankers control of the economy in the long term ."

Do you feel that this scenario is


B:Very Likely

C:Extremely likely / Inevitable

"Hey another tough question , I go for C again".

Third |Question : "Do you feel that mainstream politics has been taken over by the interests of large corporations instead of the interests of the people they claim to represent ?Is it indeed the case that it does not make a scrap of difference what the people think about say the issue with war with Iraq for example ?I think it was Dick cheney who said that he "didnt give a shit" that 90 odd percent of americans were against the war in Iraq recently.So is the current electoral campaign nothing more than a hollow meaningless sham that is there just to con the average american into thinking there is still democracy in the US? Also the perception of a few who realise that there is little or no choice between candidates and parties and there is little point in voting or that voting indeed legitimises the above scam ?Is the current campaign by Barak Obama nothing more than manipulating the voters who want change to the above mentioned scam and are so desperate to vote for any candidate who repeats the word change over and over again like a mantra while never in his high and mighty speeches does he care to define even loosely what the changes that he proposes actually are?Is it true that the one candidate who actually stood for the people was marginalised to such an extent by the others and the campaign itself that he has virtually dropped out?

Is voting ultimatly pointless or not ?

Is it:

A:Make your vote count ! vote for Ron Paul !

B:Pointless but its all we have ?

C:Totally pointless ?

"I choose answer C ! Hell you can tell i like my Cs. Thats 3 in a row now !! "

Last question : "How do you convince the average american into stopping stuffing their faces for five minutes and make their vote an informed choice having carefully weighed up each political candidate and their policies and their backers and that if correctly motivated could actually make a difference and could even if they really wanted to to fund their own candidate or even start their own political party.If they collectivly funded their own candidate they could compete with the corporate fascist whores who are running for the white house.Therefore ending the corporate stranglehold on politics in the US and finally have a say in what happens.

Should you :

A:Pay a PR/advertising agency to come up with a few catchy soundbites and jingles and slogans in garish primary colours running alongside well placed celebrity endorsements that the public can identify with running alongside a poster campaign that without using difficult long words like Democracy or Presidential Candidate that will confuse and alienate them but just spell out clearly and concisely the above idea.

You could for example have a hit song by someone like Britney Spears with a spoken word /rap line as its chorus like : "We like Democracy ! "

Try anything just get them interested.

B:The voting system works fine as it is and hey if the system aint broke why mess with it ?

C:Dont let them vote at all.Politics is for politicians.The voters dont understand it.They are better off not being part of the equation.Everytime we make a difficult decision a minority of them choose to start saying what they think and start protesting and it always ends in tears and if the president wants to attack Iran what goddamn business is it of the voters ?What right do they have to question that decision ? They wouldnt like it if a politician started telling them how to do their job would they ? See ?

Let the politicians do their job without interference.Electoral campaigns are a waste of money.Whats the point in corporate interests paying say 400 million to fund an election campaign ?.If the president didnt have to be voted in then the corporate interests would save themselves a lot of money.Instead of wasting 400 million on pretending there is democracy they could instead use it fund all sorts of corrupt regimes or spend it on themselves or just bank the money.

"C , C !! C !! , definatly C!!".

One final trick question:

"Do you feel that when you listen to a political speech that to understand it you have to reverse "Will" into "Wont" , "We promise to" into "We have no intention of ",etc ?

A classic example is "Read mah lyups ! Know knew tiaxes !!" and look what happened."

"No i mean yes but i mean no.For the record No".

IS this your perception of things ? "

"Thank you for your time - Enjoy the rest of your day ".

Wednesday, 19 March 2008

Humble pie:

I had to eat humble pie today and very nearly got kicked out of the health club i joined 2 weeks ago.

The lockers are made of units a bit like Kitchen cupboard doors with those crap adjustable hinges so if the door is slightly out of alignment it wont lock and the padlock i had wouldnt lock so i just lost it with the door and accidentally ripped it of its hingesThere were 3 20 year old lads who found it funny but someone told the manager and i got a talking to and so i apologised as i didnt actually mean to do it and then he gave me a new combination padlock that you normally pay 8 quid for !

Apparently no one has ever done that before in all the time the club has been open.

Tuesday, 18 March 2008

Friday, 14 March 2008

Brighton council strike again :

Why does something like a recycling and rubbish collection service have to be a complicated convoluted disorganised mess ?

Brighton council run the service thats why.

Banning of dogs on all of the beaches throughout the summer ? They must be fucking joking.I couldnt give a toss myself well i do but what i mean is if i want to go for a walk on the beach and a swim in the sea then thats what i will do as i dont acknowledge their petty by laws .What a bloody liberty ! bollox to them i will do exactly as i like and if they dont like it then they will have to try and stop me.Best of luck to them .They will need lots of it.

This happened with one of their jobsworths on hove promenade which is as wide as a road because i was cycling on it. "NO CYCLING !! OFF THE BIKE !! ITS A 100 POUND FINE !! "

"I'm sorry , how much for what ? "

"A 100 pound fine for cycling here ! "

"Well i tell you what then , I dont care how much the fine is as i wont pay it anyway so why dont you go and annoy someone else ? have a nice day and see you later "

I just get sick and tired of these idiots telling you what to do all the time especially when it us who pay their wages anyway.

Wednesday, 5 March 2008

roadrage update :

I think he has definatly gone now .I simply have not seen him anywhere and neither has anyone else since i followed him home and put the shits up him a bit.

I was chatting to my Dad about him and he said " Do him over [rough him up a lot] and dump him in one of those basements you get with the railings and the steps going down".

I thought that was a bit excessive even by mind standards and he only escaped it because i couldnt be bothered with him .

Still one less piece of lowlife transient trash in the area.That can only be a good thing.

"Never shit on your own doorstep " springs to mind immediately.

I hope he took his peroxide blonde fat white trash girlfriend with him.

Never trust baldy thin lipped bastards.

I was punched in the ear and when i yawn [which is all the time ] i get a sharp shooting pain on that part of the jawbone that is next to the ear and i feel it in my ear .It hurts like hell for a couple of seconds sometimes.It happens less often these days.